ONLYMPICS 2010 Watch Only’s live coverage of the Opening Ceremonies this Friday at 5:30pm / 8:30 pm Eastern / 2 am in Alan,Darren, and Kaf land.

-10 Journalist and Olympics critic barred from entering Canada.

+10 When Hugo Chavez accuses you of being undemocratic for closing Parliament you may wish to rethink your governing style.

+10 There is a cop on every corner just itching for trouble. You don’t join the cops because you want to be a handmaid to tourists.

+1 Generic Poverty Olympics story.)

+10 The Supreme Court has ruled that aquaculture is a Federal issue and can’t be regulated by BC. Yet, employee rights are generally a provincial issue. Who guarantees the rights of aquaculture workers? It’s a pickle, all right.

Are you or do you plan on becoming a band in Vancouver? Tell your friends to follow @musicwaste! Submit for 2010 now submissions@musicwaste.ca

Today: +21 This Year: +165

Time: Friday, Feb. 12, 2010. We’ll begin annoying you sometime around 5:30pm
Where: The Official 2010 Onlympics Media Gondola Overlooking Beautiful Downtown Vancouver
How: By watching the interactive experience we’re building. A link will be posted HERE as soon as we get it done.
Why: Because we’re going to need a few drinks to make it through the next couple of weeks.

No, Really. Why?
Back in the year of 2004 or maybe it was 2003? Honestly, we’re not quite sure, but let’s just say about 1400 days ago we built the first ever widget for the Mac OS that would count down the days leading to a riot that at that time we thought was sure to happen when the 2010 Olympic Games opened in the city of Vancouver.

We laughed at the unimaginable bulk of days that lay ahead, thousands of them. We built the widget, got a bit drunk, ate some pasta, installed the thing on our dashboards, passed out, and quite honestly; forgot about it.

While we went on with our lives that little widget, which was a smaller and much cheaper version of the big doomsday machine that they installed outside the Vancouver Art Gallery, kept ticking down the days to what we predicted was going to be mayhem. With each passing day the hopes and dreams that we could get blamed for the 2010 Olympic riot and maybe even spend a night or two in jail, just like when the staff of Only Magazine was blamed for the 1994 Stanley Cup Riot and nearly arrested, began to slowly fade away into distant memory.

Well, ladies and gentleman, the unimaginable has happened. The unstoppable element known as time has brought us to the door of the 2010 Opening Ceremonies this coming Friday and while the doomsday machine is about to pop a series of zeros, and our little widget becomes a useless relic, the staff of Only Magazine care about one thing only. And that’s to bring you the cutting edge in new media journalism…and FUCKING PARTY! So make that two things we care about.

Riot? meh. Whatever. So much has happened in the years that have passed: lottery windfalls won and spent, the disappearance of one of our beloved editors, several going away parties, even more “I’m back, broke and broken” parties, the creation of offices in Toronto, London, and New York, and parties in just about every exotic city you can think of, like Winnipeg, for example. There have been break ups for pizza, sexting back and forth, hookups, hang-ups, breakdowns and coming outs. Babies have been born and Hulk Hogan wrote a book. All the while the 2010 countdown clock has kept its time, relentlessly tick tocking down to 0:0:0. And us? Well, we’ve been training.

What we’re getting at is that we don’t really care anymore. Vancouver is OUR sweetheart, or first love, and she can do whatever the hell she wants. So riot or no riot we will we be hunkered down in the Official Only Magazine Media Gondola overlooking beautiful downtown Vancouver, and having a party. We’ll keep and eye on our girl and see how she rides this night out. We’re inviting all of our friends over and we’re going to get wasted and liveblog the shit out of the Opening Ceremonies. We’ll have our Only satellite offices in Toronto, New York and London provide insight into this event from an International perspective.

The opening ceremonies of any Olympics is always ridiculous, so we’ll be pairing that ridiculousness with an equally retarded spectacle over Robson Street. We’ll be turning the whole party into one big, multi-stream broadcast, beamed in over the net from the 2010 Onlympics Media Gondola Overlooking Beautiful Downtown Vancouver. There will be games, party snacks, celebrities in attendance, uniforms, and someone will probably try to have sex with the fridge again. Yes, it’s happened. And finally, let’s not forget the wonderful insight that you’ve come to trust from the team at Only Magazine. Even if we don’t care anymore.

Seriously, it’s not as if you’ll be able to go anywhere, so you might as well come hang out with us. See you then.

+1 If there is a better metaphor for the Olympics than losing a ship of tourists it would only be that ship actually sinking. But that would be sad, rather than funny.

-10 The Vancouver Police had cancelled the bike unit? Who knew? Also, they’re not bringing it back.

+20 The Straight creates an ‘Olympic Protests Google calendar Good on them. It’s only been 30 years since they did something political.

+1 Olympics screw over Mario’s Gelati. If you want good gelati, you do not want to screw Mario.

+20 Megaphone has created a gorgeous, double-sized glossy special edition for the Olympics. Find your local vendor immediately! Here’s a sample, a great article on the origins of United We Can.

Are you or do you plan on becoming a band in Vancouver? Tell your friends to follow @musicwaste! Submit for 2010 now submissions@musicwaste.ca

Today: +32 This Year: +144

+5 Megaphone has a good article called Politics in the Ring: Dave Zirin on Olympics and resistance

+10 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Whistler owner wants Ottawa to pay $90M US: report And they want it before the games!

-10 The Feds and the Province have ignored homelessness and poverty for decades now – but they got some kiosks together to exonerate them pretty quick.

+1 Radio antique Red Robinson has donated his Vancouver interviews with Elvis Presley, the Beatles, Buddy Holly, Gene Vincent, Eddie Cochran, Sam Cooke and more to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Nifty.

Are you or do you plan on becoming a band in Vancouver? Tell your friends to follow @musicwaste! Submit for 2010 now submissions@musicwaste.ca

Today: +6 This Year: +112

-5 Remember how the Olympics would bring so many tourists, we’d need cruise ships to house them? Insert your own nautical joke here.

+10 Despite their best efforts, Vancouver Police forced to hand off investigation of their officer’s beating an innocent man to another force to find the required ‘not our fault’ verdict.

+10 Douglas Haddow gets a story in the Guardian on the bailout games..

+10 And the Sun does a surprisingly good. for them story on anti-Oympic activists.

+5 Divided bike lanes are coming. Cue outrage from the Downtown Vancouver Business Improvement Association in any moment.

Are you or do you plan on becoming a band in Vancouver? Tell your friends to follow @musicwaste! Submit for 2010 now submissions@musicwaste.ca

Today: +35 This Year: +106

-5 Alleged Surrey Mountie who allegedly had relations with a girlfriend (allegedly) of a suspect in a murder investigation is pregnant. (Defo.) “:http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2010/01/28/bc-rcmp-brassington-surrey-six-girlfriend-pregnant.html?ref=rss

+10 Vancouver cultural leaders very happy over City is is looking into overhauling licensing problems. Credit Check is laying money that this happiness will last until 5 seconds after the actual proposals are presented.

+10 Innocent man beaten by Vancouver Police, now plans to sue. Your tax dollars at work – remember that at election time.

+20 BC Civil Liberties Association says censorship won’t help Canadian MPs defeat anti-Semitism.

+1 This is a pretty interesting interview with Suzanne Anton over plans for getting the NPA nomination for mayor.

Are you or do you plan on becoming a band in Vancouver? Tell your friends to follow @musicwaste! Submit for 2010 now submissions@musicwaste.ca

Today: +36 This Year: +71

-5 Surrey Mountie gets suspended because he (allegedly) had relations with a witness. (Allegedly) A suspect’s girlfiend.

-10 Why is City Hall paying for Olympic tickets? Didn’t they arrange for some freebies when they negotiated they $5 billion games?

-20 The Vancouver Police has gotten around to reassigning the officer who beat up an innocent person last week. He is not suspended or anything like that.

-10 Big cable takes advantage of millions meant for community media.

Are you or do you plan on becoming a band in Vancouver? Tell your friends to follow @musicwaste! Submit for 2010 now submissions@musicwaste.ca

Today: -28 This Year: +35

-25 The Life and Death of Alan Carton, 23, the RIAA-Defying Creator of @diditleak

-1 Steve Fonyo, a real Canadian, loses his Order of Canada. Credit Check fondly remembers the Terminal City/Mighty Niagara Steve Fonyo Pub Craw organised probably when you were 12.

-1 Turns out that Vancouver Police lied in its original statement when officers beat up an innocent person. The low -1 is due to Credit Check’s lack of surprise.

-10 All transit advertising has been replaced by Olympic approved ads.

+10 If Steven Harper wishes to be known as a great Canadian, he should make senate reform a confidence vote.

-1 Look good for our vistors! Grooming tips from Vanoc.

Are you or do you plan on becoming a band in Vancouver? Tell your friends to follow @musicwaste! Submit for 2010 now submissions@musicwaste.ca

Today: -28 This Year: +35

-50 Vancouver Police beat a resident because they a had a wrong address. They have now apologised, so there is no need to charge any officers over why they would beat up an innocent person.

+1 Streetcar, Streetcar, Streetcar, Streetcar, Streetcar.

+10 Tourists get their own Olympic courts.

+1 Stupid pine beetle infestation problem because of stupid climate change problem that doesn’t exist.

+10 Canadian forces remove biblical inscriptions on guns they purchased.)

Are you or do you plan on becoming a band in Vancouver? Tell your friends to follow @musicwaste! Submit for 2010 now submissions@musicwaste.ca

Today: -20 This Year: +63

-1 Shouldn’t we have some snow at our Olympic games?

-1 You know, when you cut taxes for a decade, you might run out of money for basic government services.

+10 Neat. Some guy made a 311 iPhone app.

-1 Basic civic services will be on hold during the Olympics.

-10 The horrible legacy of the Olympics as told by the Literary Review of Canada.

Are you or do you plan on becoming a band in Vancouver? Tell your friends to follow @musicwaste! Submit for 2010 now submissions@musicwaste.ca

Today: -20 This Year: +63