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A Dozen Things

By only

Wednesday March 1, 2006

Dave Chappelle’s Block Party
Aside from Dead Prez and Dave himself, we’d probably talk shit about everyone that appears in this film. Especially Wyclef. But somehow this movie pulls off something that hasn’t been seen in forever: a positive, funny, de-thugged portrait of black people in America. This is much needed.
(In theatres on March 3)

Four Ways Of Destruction
Blim and NTSC present IRON MAIDEN LIVE!!!!! ...or Iron
(March 13–Afro Canadian Club)

In every other city in the world, a regular night like this already exists. Laptops. Turntables. Downtempo. White dudes. Interesting shit. You know the drill.
(Every Other Sunday­–Alibi Room)

Is it tactless to say that you’re addicted to a show about addiction? Is it kinda like walking down Hastings and complaining about being way too addicted to chocolate-covered pretzels? Except not, since it’s a TV show. But it is the best reality TV of all time. Sorry Tyra.
(New episodes start March 12 at 11:00 on A&E)

The Sunday Service
Because Only is not fond of anything described as “alternative,“ “improv,“ “vegan,“ “by donation,“ or “comedy,” we suggest avoiding stuff like this.
(Sundays–The Wink Cafe)

The Fall Collection
I was at a party this summer, and this pale dude dressed in black with a dangly earring and black hair was doing a bit of rock star posing on the porch. Turns out he played in a band. “What band?” I queried. “Ze Fall Collection,” he replied. Then he spun around and I caught a glimpse of his thong.
(March 7 w/ Kiss Me Dead & Hot Loins–Pat’s)

Chicken Teeth
Scientists have discovered a mutant chicken with teeth. Actually, all chickens have teeth— crocodile teeth. The teeth are reabsorbed by the beak prior to hatching. Back in the seventies they grafted mouse gums on to a hen and grew molars on it. That’s considered unethical now. These days they just want to regrow teeth in the smashed faces of football players. Later, they’ll develop football players who can lay pigskin eggs. Try to get season tickets then.