Thank Mattel for little girls
SOMEDAY all children will be made of plastic. Poseable enough for guests and visiting relatives, easily cleaned, scentless except for the smell of polyethylene, and you can brush their hair to make them pretty. When their hair gets too ratty you just pop off their heads and replace with new ones. Dr. Spock for the 21st C!
Mattel Toys & FeminismÂ© understands this and is determined to ratchet evolution up a few notches. Their new line of apparel for young girls come complete with built-in drawstring corsets and push-up-anything bras adding depth to busts years before boobs grow. Also inherent is the empowering philosophy that itâ€™s fun dressing sexy so long as you donâ€™t really know what sex is and your parents pay for the clothes.
For years, men have had to quietly creep, almost skulk ashamedly, into washrooms while the family was out if they wanted to play with their daughtersâ€™ Barbie dolls. But no more! Now they can stride proudly to the john where they can safely leave, along with the other magazines, their kidsâ€™ Barbie catalogues filled with real little girls in even more articulated attitudes than the most adept, fumbling hands could ever manoeuvre those diminutive mannequins. This will have to do until all children are made of plastic, but way to go Mattel! All of this progressive thinking no doubt stems from Mattelâ€™s recent announcement of a three-year partnership with Girls Inc. (formerly The Girls Club of America) a 140 year old, 350,000+ members strong, non-profit organization intended to â€œinspire girls to become strong, smart, bold young womenâ€. After all, points two and four of their Girlsâ€™ Charter of Rights state â€œGirls have the right to be themselves and to resist gender stereotypesâ€, and â€œGirls have the right to accept and appreciate their bodiesâ€. Va-va-voom! And so do the rest of us apparently!
The Only has just one peeve: What about the little boys? Where is the stunning new line of My Little Kenny prÃªt-a-porter? This smacks of sexual discrimination, and we call upon the toy and style manufacturers to remedy this oversight. Moral decency and NAMBLA demand it. In the meantime parents and paedophiles will have to make do with these delicious confections of fabric and colour while we wait for the future to come.