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Credit Check: Into The Fire

By only

Friday April 25, 2008

- 2 Seriously, it’s a bad sign when the kind and honorable proprietors of Commercial Drive grocery stores are telling you that bread is going to cost $10 and we’re fucked. Frankly, we’re fucked. Seriously.

- 2 Also, you now live in the US of A, apparently. Keep paying them monthly premiums, OK? And pay the receptionist on your way out…

- 1 Weird old rapist, please come home. Everyone is worried about you and you missed Ugly Betty, and this bed is just so cold without you.

±0 Counterfeit 2010 Olympics items??! At the Metrotown?! R-R… RRRR-ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR! Hugo Boss?! Viagra.

±0 Olympic hopefuls, be warned; after you’re finished running or jumping or sliding or whatever it is you do, people will completely forget about you and you’ll have to resort to suing TV networks that moms and dads watch for loosely portraying you (or any asshole from Whistler, really–c’mon) on a totally ineffectual Can-con filler series about rich people’s kids for cash and kicks. Then all there is to do is a get a pedicure… And that’s your whole life. That’s it. Think it over. Zzzz. Facebook.

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