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credit check: Another long weekend, another apocalypse.

By only

Monday August 3, 2009

+10 Britain is one step closer to extraditing a 43-year-old British computer hacker who insists he “is merely a harmless eccentric” and getting more pussy than your average DJ.

+10 Oprah arrested for eating too much taco.

0 Oh sure, take a day off, while EVERYTHING BURNS.

-1 Vancouver Police urge anyone with information about a serial arsonist in Stanley Park to call crime stoppers. Everyone else knows it’s a result of the 6000 homeless squatters cooking wiener, and all the gay guys smoking it with night park sex.

-5 Deadly Attack on Gay Teen Club. Really, is having a pride parade on Davie Street the best contextual fit to educate people about sexual equality?

-15 Abbotsford dad leaves kids in hot car to hit the bar. Two children found in minivan outside a bar called the Fat Pig Saloon at 12:30 a.m. Wasn’t Abbotsford, BC slated for demolition 15 years ago? What is taking so long?

-25 Kevin Costner narrowly escapes tragedy in Camrose, Alta. while waiting to play an inspiring set of feel good music. Cue wind, roll credits.

Today: +1 This Year: Something’s gotta give