Credit Check: Too Randy?

By only

Friday May 9, 2008

±0 Here’s why: If they tasered a police officer and then it died or pissed itself, then well shit–the whole thing is completely buggered, party’s over, and that’s valid, isn’t it? Tasering a cop dog would be pretty weird too. Also, pregnant women are actually fat women, and fat women are probably flammable, and that’s not too good for the PR either. So. From now on, only baaaaad men. Big, bad, straight, white, bad men.

- 2 That said, the RCMP tasered an 82-year old dude three times on a hospital bed in Kamloops. They wha… Alright, that’s it. Assholes, pull your fucking pussied heads out of your way-trashed asses and stop being so fucking sadistic and lazy. The old bastard had bypass surgery vs. a Swiss army knife on a stretcher and you can’t think of anything else to do? Do you need some help? Do you really need some help with this? Jesus fuck. Fucking shit.

- 1 Five girls in the care of the Ministry of Children and Family Development have been selling their under-ripened genitalia on Craigslist, and probably not declaring that income, those little thieves. But to make it special, they’re actually saying that the pimp is the list itself. Good old Province.

±0 Nothing is worse to think of than a sports-fail-construction-business-Olympics premier or MLA or whatever. We’ll all be living and working in a great big metaphorical slave stadium, endlessly metaphorically cleaning urinals and cooking hot dogs on those depressing roller cook thingees. No, just no please… More Gordon Campbell. Anything. Where’s George Puil?

±0 You’ll never have to wash your shitty drawers again because fucking Wal-Mart be opening at Wendy’s, apply now!

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