Wednesday March 19th, 2008

By Adam Thomas

Wednesday March 19, 2008

COMEDY
If you prefer to take your stand-up comedy sitting down, the institutional Laugh Gallery is at Lime (the restaurant formerly known as Rime) and hosted by Graham Clark. Word is that local no-star celebrity Dylan Rhymer will be in the house. Cover is only 5 bucks, cheap really. Probably like the jokes.
9:30 pm @ Lime (1130 Commercial Dr.)

SOUL
Some white kids are playing soul records and soul ipods at the Astoria tonight and every week thereafter. If you go, listen really carefully, and you might be able to hear Sam Cooke’s old bones roll over in his grave. He’s buried there, so we’ve heard.

MUSIC
Beach House is sold out tonight, but here’s a tip if you want to sneak in: we hear they’re totally East Baltimore, so tell the door man Prop Joe sent you. Alternatively, say you have to use the bathroom “real quick.”
9pm @The Media Club

LEARN
SFU’s excellent City Program is bringing in Dr. James Sallis from San Diego State to talk about transportation strategies for healthier communities. We were going to go, but don’t feel like sitting on the bus for an hour, and that second McRib is sitting weird.
6 pm @ Harbour CentreFREE

THEATRE
Forget music and film and sports, they are meaningless compared to the all-pervading importance of theatre. Everything you think and believe is based on theatre. Theatre is the first art form, followed by puppets, clowning and the playing of miniature instruments. Even cavemen put on puppet shows using the heads of mastodons and pterodactyls. Therefore, over the following weeks you will sit in dark rooms and watch actual live people dazzle you with the true fruits of humanity’s miserable existence. Eat it. Rumble Theatre’s annual Tremors Festival of Emerging Arts runs until mid-April, then bleeds like a stuck warthog into HIVE in June. There is much of a muchness happening, open your eyestocks, lobsters. Tonight you will see Atomic Vaudeville’s Legoland, either because you missed it at the last Fringe and have been crying every night since, or because you saw it and need to see it again because you appreciate the beauty of addiction.

That’s it, there’s nothing else in Vancouver. Don’t care about your bands, your “Nickels Back” and your “New Prostitutes.”