Theatre of Pain

By curtis

Friday February 4, 2005

Extreme canadian championship wrestling

November 20th, 2005 Russian Cultural Centre, Vancouver

As I took my seat at November Nightmare, an eight-man battle for the coveted NWA/ECCW championship title, I was struck by the diversity of the audience. Sitting around me were young kids with their parents, groups of homies in puffy jackets, and a woman busy knitting. Not really knowing what to expect for my first time, the sight of a toque being knit put me at ease and I prepared myself for the live entertainment.

The night reached its only low point when ‘The American Wet Dream’, Skag Rollins, delivered a punishing blow to the lower back of Nate Daniels. Once Nate was in the ambulance, we all thought it impossible that the night’s previous energy could be regained. But as Ladies Choice and his opponent, the 300 pound Juggernaut, entered the ring, the crowd rose to its feet.

The theatrics reached a point of insanity when Juggernaut dragged LC by the hair into the street–4th and Arbutus to be exact. Back in the ring, Skag threw some kind of powder into Juggernaut’s face bringing every wrestler back as a massive free-for-all broke out. Just as I was almost knocked down by Vance Nevada (aka Mr. Beefy Goodness) as he was slamming Disco into the hardwood, I made out Juggernaut’s announcement that on January 29th, at the R.C.C. (aka The IN-PAIN Asylum) the score would be settled with an eight-man balls-to-the-wall Battle Royale! The stage had been set and we would have to hold our breath awaiting this mammoth event …

January 29th
Expectations were high as the droves poured in–seating was at a premium and this night was twice as packed. Throughout the next few fights I realized that in Professional Wrestling the drama and the theatrics are half the battle; if the wrestlers do not have the extreme personalities required for maximum showmanship (and if you can actually hear the guys whispering to each other!), it all just comes off as fake. Like a movie so bad you can’t even laugh.

Having heard names like Models Inc. and Sweet Daddy D. I figured that the Tag Team title match was going to be the perfect intro to the upcoming Battle Royale, but all these jokers did was slap each other’s chests. I couldn’t believe my ears, when after a double pin and the belts defaulted back to the Models, they actually announced another one of these ‘panty-slaps’ for February.

As 10 year old kids started yelling “Fag!” there was no mistaking the night’s main event was set to begin. Juggernaut’s entrance alone more than made up for the lacking first half of the night, this man’s size is probably the most indicative evidence of Pro-Wrestling fakeness: he would be the king of suburban bar-fights were he not in the ring.

The wrestlers entered every two minutes, until there were eight in the ring. It was clear that these men were the cream of the crop, the real showmen of the ECCW. Again Juggernaut took the show onto 4th–this time with some no-namer punching bag filling in for Vance Nevada, who was sorely missed. Allegiances were formed and then broken, bodies were thrown over the top rope and non-participants popped by to throw in a few beats, including Nate Daniels, fully recovered since November.

In the end, there could be only one, and once LC was sent packing, it was Scotty Mac who pinned the behemoth Juggernaut and became the NWA/ECCW Champion. Ever the crowd pleaser and all around swell guy, S.Mac extended his hand in friendship to the big man and he in turn reciprocated by announcing the cliffhanger: S.Mac and Juggernaut versus The Knight of Ecstasy (Ladies Choice and Skag Rollins) in a tag team match to end all tag team matches February 26th. You bet I’ll be there.