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Monday February 25, 2008


The Darjeeling Limited
Even with all the Wes Anderson charm that gets packed into this movie, it still feels very empty and ultimately boring. Formulaic, even. The characters smoke cigarettes, dress impeccably, have unearned wealth, are care free but sometimes neurotic, and stumble through their set-to-the-perfect-soundtrack adventures with the same suave confidence and dumb luck that all of the characters in his previous two (and sort of three) films have. So if you love Tenenbaums, and want more of exactly that but without the inspiration, then saddle up. If Wes’s films continue this way, we’ll keep seeing them; they’re always fun to look at and never bad by any stretch of the imagination. But something needs to change. He needs to get real about a plot or go completely surreal or adapt/remake Catch-22 or something… On a side note, super glad Owen Wilson didn’t actually kill himself. That would have been sooooo tragic.

Hey Beowulf, you are a total fucking narcissist. We don’t care how good you are at fighting scary monsters while you’re naked, there’s just no need for all the “I am Beowulf!” screaming that you do all the time. Dude, you just took Grendel’s arm off in front of like the entire kingdom, and Malkovich and Hopkins and all the chicks, they all saw you. You’re going to get laid and you’re going to get your serious drink on, so don’t worry. Put some pants on, and chill. Yes your buff CG body is smooth and gorgeous, and we’re definitely DTF, but not while you’re killing a mean gross monster (that looks really excellent, to be fair). As far as the story goes, top notch. Beowulf is a timeless/famous story for a reason, and this telling is pretty faithful. But it does look weird, and Angie’s boobs do look supple, and if we were Beowulf we would have succumbed too.

30 Days of Night
What a great idea for a comic. Vampires roll into an Alaskan town in the middle of winter when there is a full month of darkness and proceed to go totally bonkers. Hey it would also make a great movie… right? Well maybe if the vampires didn’t look like a leather clad biker gang and the movie didn’t feel like a zombie movie instead of a vampire movie. You know, the classic: Oh shit! Run, run, run. Hide… Keep quiet. Do something stupid, get discovered and die. But with vampires. The best part of this one is when they kill a zompire by blasting it with light from a grow-op… seriously, that’s the best part. Tricky little stoners. Click here to see what we thought when it was in theaters.