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A Dozen Things

By only

Wednesday February 15, 2006

Tell Me When To Go

The Bay Area is praying that ’06 is the year that kids who don’t live in The Bay start listening to rap from The Bay. They’re praying that Dreads are this-years Grillz, and that Hyphy is the next Crunk. But nope.

Polar Bears

Scientists have discovered polar bears in the Arctic are turning into hermaphrodites, possessing both sex organs. Fumes from fire retardant chemicals (Polybrominated diphenyls, or PBDEs) migrate north and condense, percolate up the food chain, and turn bears into porn novelties. Now we can stop insuring our icebergs for fire damage, and put the money we save towards intersex counseling veterinarians for the wildlife.

Foundation Lounge

The veggie restauranteurs on Main Street are good people. When they found out an employee had Hep — A, they didn’t try and hide the fact, they immediately informed everyone through the media and put a sign right on the front door. Nobody got sick, but people are still avoiding the place when they should be taking advantage of the fact there are, for once, no line-ups. Who do you want on Main St – Red Robin or Foundation? It’s your choice.

2301 Main St. 604-708-0881

Girls Will Be Girls

How is female comedy such a novelty that this actually gets put on TV? How do people get these shows? It makes you want to pull the trigger! It’s not because they’re women that the show’s not funny. It’s because they’re Canadian.

Tuesdays at 10:30 on The Comedy Network

Battlestar Galactica

If you actually read it and have no doubt that science fiction is a legitimate genre, and you have cable, you already heard the word. The show is good. Maybe the best show being filmed in town. Those of us with no cable have to pace ourselves, but we all know the show’s legit. The CG is topnotch, so is the writing. Not at all like the original ’78 version, but in a good way.

Ex-Dead Teenager

Steve McBean’s first band from back in the late 90s. Even though Only gives Steve a bit of shit from time to time, we’re totally down with this band. You can get a whole album for free here:

Ex-Dead Teenager

Juelz Santana
Santana’s “A!” chant will really feel at home during his eight stop cross-Canada cash grab. But that’s all dude knows. He’s crack in the flesh. And if you thought that it couldn’t get more terry cloth than a bunch of Vancouver thugs trying to let Juelz know what’s really good, imagine a bunch of Oshawan thugs getting down with The Dips.

Marie Tyrell: The Movie

Local Engels-angled filmmaker Flick Harrison screens his latest political polemic. Based on the 1974 short story by local author D.M. Fraser, Marie Tyrell plays with narrative perspective in a multi-layered portrait of a woman on death row who went from curious teen to become a revolutionary leader. There’s even a “thumbs up” from the director of that documentary the Weather Underground.

March 1,2005 –Spartacus Books @ 7pm

Update 22 Feb 2006 Corrected name of Marie Tyrell film