Last year I went to Metrotown for the first time in my life to interview Santa, but I got too stoned before hand and got all nervous and chickened out. This year I stayed straight and got the job done. It was rewarding.
ONLY: How old are you, Santa?
SANTA: Oh, I’m pretty old. Many moons have passed since I was…
ONLY: What do you do during the off-season?
S: Relax. Get things in line for next year.
ONLY: What’s your favourite pastime?
S: Uh, that’s a good question. What’s my favourite pastime… I really don’t know. I like everything.
ONLY: What do you think is the number one gift for Christmas this year?
S: Well, the little ones still like Thomas the Tank Train…
S: …And there’s a bunch of fancy things out there. Animals and what have you… you know, prehistoric.
ONLY: If you could wish one thing for the world this Christmas, what would it be?
S: Get things in order, and get peace all over. Get rid of the fighting and get the boys back home.
ONLY: That’s a great wish.
S: Oh, and Merry Christmas.