only magazine

↵ home


By only

Monday March 3, 2008


Into the Wild
It’s kind of amazing to think that Sean Penn had sex with Madonna back when she was new. That’s pretty cool. What’s not that cool is the fact that Eddie Vedder is all over the soundtrack here, so if you’re not totally into that, you’re kind of fucked. But not as fucked as the kid this movie is based on who died after eating some bad berries. Eating bad berries is totally not as cool as having sex with Madonna, back when she was new.

My Kid Could Paint That
What is art? Good question. Apparently it’s something anyone can do, even a four year old. A splash of red over here, a thick slap of yellow oil there and you got a work of art worth a bundle. Who wouldn’t want an early work by a child protege? Except what if it wasn’t a four year old who painted it, but her dad, who then claimed it was his daughter in order to create more hype? Does that really change it’s value? Yes apparently it does. And now every time we see modern art we think…“Hey my dad could paint that.”

Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium
We were about to give this movie a free ride because it’s based on some kids book that we’re all too old to have enjoyed, and so what if this adaptation doesn’t in any way whatsoever live up to what the book was probably like. It’s a kids movie, and we’re adults, and ‘dults and kids don’t mix… But then we checked out IMDB, and wait a sec, this movie isn’t based on a book at all! What? It’s an actual original screenplay? WWWWHHHHYYYYYY?!