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Monday November 19, 2007


Rescue Dawn
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, we’re Christian Bale fans. We love the Bale. Not really familiar with this director, but Bale is where it’s at… He’s really good in this. Well, he’s really good in everything. Inspired by a documentary that the guy who directed this already made a while ago, the story is of Dieter Dengler, a pilot during the war in Vietnam. His plane gets shot down, and he survives against all odds in a POW camp, and then in the jungle for a few months after he escapes. Wow and holy shit, the movie is intense. And in the end (because he survives) super uplifting. However, one thing did get on our nerves: the whispering. At least 3/4 of the film’s dialog is said in whispers. There’s an obvious reason for the whispering, but still, the entire thing is like a long, torturous game of telephone.

Die Hard 4: Live Free of Die Hard
Now that we’ve seen Die Hard 4, we understand why somebody thought it was a good idea. Just like Jason Bourne, the character of John McClane is a necessary supplement to the actual superheros that crowd the theaters every summer. He’s a human, a guy, a fuck-up, a drunk, but he’s also the best unlikely action hero of all time. As long as the plot of his movies stay fairly simple and don’t bog anything down, it would be pretty hard to mess up a Die Hard movie. The fact that it’s a part four shouldn’t deter you. Nobody complains when another James Bond movie comes out unless the plot sucks. That’s because we all love the James Bond character, and like seeing him have fun. Same goes for McClane. He’s a great action hero, we love seeing him have fun, and he has lots of fun in this movie. It’s as simple as that.

It feels almost impossible to convey just how outrageously awful this movie really is. From the opening musical sequence to the part where we gave up, it is the kind of thing that makes The View marathons seem attractive. If you avoided it over the summer like we did, be proud. You did right. If you saw it and hated it , we’re really sorry for you; we sympathize but you should have known better. But if you saw it and liked it well just know that we hate you and are coming for you. You are what is wrong with the world, you yuppified piece of shit. You have no concept of humour, you have no respect for your fellow man and your kids are growing up to be materialistic racists.

Ghosts of Cite Soleil
There is a new fascinating line being drawn with documentaries lately. They can be as flashy and visceral as any Tony Scott movie and at the same time tell a true story, often filled with violence, corruption and disarming characters that will look you in the eye, tell you the truth and then steal your camera. Like Manda Bala about Brazil, this documentary about two brothers living and ruling in Cite Soleil — a Haitian slum that the UN calls the most dangerous place on earth — is a truly harrowing experience. We go deep into the slum and follow the brothers as one tries to work his connections to become a famous rapper and the other sets his sights on becoming the city’s gang leader. Shot in 2004 when American backed President Aristide hired gang members to enforce his legitimacy against rising protests, the film has all the violence and humanity you could want and is a brilliant and shocking achievement in cinema verite.

The Tudors
While not really our regular cup ‘o’ tea, this series about King Henry VIII and his bedroom shenanigans and political plots to conquer Europe and over throw the Church makes for some reasonable TV melodrama. Kind of like Falcon Crest. Produced by The CBC and TV Ontario, it stars Jonathan Rhys Myers, the poor man’s Jude Law. He’s reasonably suited for the role of a handsome yet deviously intolerant king who had six wives and is responsible for the birth of divorce. And while you shouldn’t look to it for historical accuracy, within the first 11 minutes of the first episode there was one murder, two sex scenes and a tennis match. This isn’t ground breaking or anything, hell it might not even be really any good, but it is the kind of thing that you can watch with you parents and it’s still got more integrity than, say… Hairspray.