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Credit Check: Keys Open Doors

By only

Tuesday February 26, 2008

±0 If you’re rich, retarded, and a scumbag, sleep safe knowing that it’s still cool to let assholes let you be retarded and pre-buy tiny apartments that you’ve based your approval on by pretty drawings of the said tiny apartments printed onto plywood that’s used as fencing around a ditch that you hope to sell for even more than you paid, which was way too much to begin with, like a scumbag.

±0 Dear lady with MS who got confronted by rent-a-cops for smoking weed out back of the Metrotown, everyone else has to do it without a prescription, so just bring a smaller bong and don’t be such a puss. There’s no need to whine to your local fishwrap.

±0 Gordon Campbell will be wearing a pink shirt tomorrow to show support for Anti-Bullying Day, and it hits home with Gordo because when he was growing up he was savagely humiliated by the field hockey girls in Point Grey on a daily basis. He still wakes up in the middle of night screaming “I’ll suck a donkey’s dick for dog food!”, but usually cries himself back to sleep pretty quickly and hardly ever remembers.

Today: ±0 This Year: - 78