Credit Check: Lost and Found

By only

Wednesday May 14, 2008

- 1 A BC Hydro helicopter kind of crashed and hit a pedestrian and burst into flames on the corner of 10th St. and 14th Ave. (in Cranbrook). Helicopters are probably pretty hard to drive though.

- 1 Oh this is magical; Translink is urging people to carpool, telecommute, or bike, because of the recent spike in ridership on their fragile transit system. Give these guys yet another raise, please.

- 1 Pamphlets?! Shittiest excuse, c’mon.

- 1 Another inquest reveals that another drunk dude died in police custody, only about a year after the other dude. This dude gooned the living shit out of a 48-ounce vodka bottle on tape and then when they tossed him in the cell, he was all “Help me, I just gooned 48 ounces of vodka” and then croaked, natch. But maybe the cops thought that meant grande. 48 ounces is actually venti.

±0 It’s too bad that Myspace is completely done for, notorious ’80s BC child killer Clifford Olsen has himself a little page with little photos of his cell and probably some other stuff. Cliff, you crazy bastard; Facebook, status changes, chat!

- 1 Maple Ridge RCMP are seeking a missing woman last seen wearing a shirt that says ‘who needs boobs’ on the front, and ‘with an ass like this’ on the back. They’re looking really hard.

- 2 Get ready to read one scary, scary, scary fucking article. Horrifying.

Today: - 7 This Year: - 196