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A Thursday Quality of Transportation Audit

By Cameron Reed

Thursday February 8, 2007

Now that the environmental fervency has tipped into popular consciousness, public officials are reluctantly sticking a green thumb up our asses in order to makes us believe that they give a shit… by fiddling with ours. Here are some transportation notes.

Parking meter rates are going up by about a dollar an hour. This will hopefully leave our streets clear for the 200+ horse-drawn carriages that Translink purchased to replace our outdated diesel fueled buses.

A Translink review is finally complete. 43 recommendations have been outlined that will hopefully address the issue with representatives of Greater Vancouver’s municipalities that have had no previous experience with transportation sitting on the Translink Board of Governors. When was the last time you saw mayor Sullivan waiting in the cold for a B-line? Fucking never.

Translink is considering removing it’s fare zones. This is great news for malcontent youths from Surrey heading to Granville St. to buy Dead Kennedys t-shirts. But unfortunately this has not (yet) been proposed as an incentive for the bridge and tunnel commuters to start taking transit instead of driving to work. No, it’s better that the highway expansion ease traffic congestion and allow for Chinese made goods to reach the remote Walmart locations more quickly.

Finally, the new electric trolley buses are pieces of shit that are plagued with problems (can’t use the bike rack at night because it blocks the headlights, have trouble staying on the electric lines). In regards to the new problem (power steering failure) Translink’s Drew Snider quipped (at least I hope it was a quip), ‘That’s why we have warranties, just like on a new car.’. Ha ha. Thanks for reminding us that it’s the manufacturers fault and not things like poor training, poor maintenance, poor rerouting of the trolley lines, and only poor people ride buses anyways so who the fuck cares.