Credit Check: Toasty!

By only

Friday February 1, 2008

+1 As of today it’s the law to pay before you pump ; local prostitutes seen stroking chins and nodding.

±0 Poor Sam Sullivan is obviously shitting about the next election. So shitting in fact that he’s enlisted the help of his three favorite local celebrities that you don’t have any clue who the hell they are, and are each old and rich. Sam, if you want to make is happen in Kitsilano you got to upgrade that shit to Fiona Forbes fast…

- 1 Poor bro was messing around with his semi-automatic and clean blowed his right head off. Fatality!

- 2 Flawless victory! Storyeum is going to be a hot new fitness gym. And while the homeless won’t ever be able to sleep there, they’ll always be able to obtain the hot chest we’ve always dreamt about them sporting.

- 2 More bomb threat/Columbine/mystery emergency drama as the 99 B-Line got this misunderstood text message threat that said “I just dropped a bomb on the bus”, and the poor passengers had to sit in a guy’s farts for 45 minutes.

Today: - 4 This Year: - 47