Credit Check: Dirty Pool

By only

Monday December 10, 2007

+5 Willy Pickton has been found guilty on six counts of second degree murder. But you know somebody’s going to take good care of him for taking the charge and keeping his mouth shut. It like that when you in it.

- 1 Authorities are claiming that addicts have stolen the hand sanitizing stations a St. John’s Hospital due to the high alcohol content of the liquid, blatantly underestimating the number of penniless germophobes currently residing in Vancouver.

- 2 The 2010 Olympics have picked up mediocre computer company Acer as an official worldwide sponsor, and here’s to hoping for their sake that they don’t actually use one for anything remotely important.

- 1 A Surrey man is in danger of losing his hand after being bit by his poisonous pet cobra… What? You try applying black eyeliner and lacing up those boots with one hand.

- 1 Shock: Greater Vancouver hotel hot tubs are far more semen encrusted than previously imagined. Awe: The Chillwack Travelodge is the most encrusted.

+1 A Nova Scotian town is considering a by-law that would ban smoking on all town property, including side-walks and roads. Locals are predictably upset, losing over half of their identity… no pun intended.

- 4 Sam Sullivan is campaigning hard to bring the Juno Awards to Vancouver in 2008, further proving that he fucking hates Vancouver.

+3 Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee is making huge gains in the polls, which is really good news for anyone who doesn’t want to see a republican president in ’08. Seriously, Tony Danza has a better chance of being elected president than this homophobe.

Today: ±0 This Year: - 167