Credit Check: Now With Even More Taser Jokes

By only

Tuesday November 20, 2007

- 5 The Lee Matasi murder trial began this week, and there’s no good joke for that one.

- 2 The Vancouver Police stock up on 70 more taser guns. You have to admire their shrewd timing.

- 1 Some fella walked into the West Van police department with a live grenade. An opportunity to tase someone completely wasted.

- 1 Not to downplay the tragedy that was Robert Dziekanski getting tasered to death by the RCMP, but honestly that really isn’t reason enough to cancel your trip to BC. To be fair, he had been going a little crazy.

- 2 And oops, someone just got tasered to death by the cops in Maryland. Probably shouldn’t ever go there either.

- 4 Better cross Georgia off the list too. Not because of the tasers, but because eight and nine-year-old boys have been running around raping people.

- 4 See? Canada tasers one guy to death and the world is up in arms, but America goes around unlawfully detaining award winning photographers for 19 months without giving any explanation whenever they want, and the world scratches its balls.

+3 Lululemon lied about their camel toe pants having magic powers and got hella busted. Camel toes deserve better than that, they can get really self conscious.

- 1 The DVBIA thinks it’s a good idea to get rid of the dumpsters downtown, because dumpsters are always drunk, have gross crooked teeth, and when was the last time a dumpster bought anything downtown? They’re useless.

±0 They’re unveiling the official 2010 games mascot: A well-behaved dumpster. His name is Tuberculosis Thomas, he’s been sober for 6 months, and he has perfect teeth!

Today: - 17 This Year: - 123