Credit Check

By only

Monday August 27, 2007

- 20 Not only did the weather this weekend suck, but balloons and trucks killed lots of people for no reason. Thanks God.

- 5 The VPD are having a hard time finding 100 new recruits amidst an uber hot BC job market. Great. It’s nice to know that the police and Burger King are competing for manpower.

+2 The Burrard Street Bridge celebrated it’s 75th birthday yesterday. Unfortunately, it couldn’t blow all 75 candles on the cake out since it’s a total old head, and it wont get that diamond wish. Thus, the Granville Street Bridge will never want it’s sex.

+10 Al Gore is planning a $100 Million a year campaign against climate change. His plan includes some Bloods, some Crips, some handguns, a live performance by Beyonce, and some one way tickets to the White Hizzy.

+7 In his network TV debut, Keith Olberman names Rush Limbaugh as the worst person alive.

+1 Finally! Your love of portable music and irrational distaste for minorities has been integrated!

- 8 In extremely sad news, actor Owen Wilson tried to kill himself the other night. Send your solemn wishes to his actor brother Luke Wilson, and his eyes Kevin and Shorty.

Today: - 13 This Year: - 13