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Thursday July 26, 2007

+6 Fireworks get off to a great start with only 250 liquor incidents and 19 arrests, but no stabbings!

+1 The federal government announces a $3.5 billion surplus, which the Vancouver Sun describes as an embarrassment of riches. That may seem like a joke to some, since you’re all like “what’s so embarrassing about driving Bentleys and whatever?” But then you’d realize the Sun were using “embarrassment” in the 18th century French style, which has nothing to do with shame, and a lot to do with abundance.

- 1 The Coroner’s Service says that most child drowning deaths are preventable, directly contradicting their previous report which stated that most child drownings are unavoidable.

+4 UFO sightings bring a UK town to a standstill, which was immediately followed by a brisk walk and then another standstill in accordance with the “what to do if you see a flying saucer” safety procedure.

+2 The Walt Disney Company is planning to ban smoking in all family films, because smoking kills. While Disney made the public announcement, they mentioned no plans of banning McDonalds, the fast-food chain which has carried Disney toys for decades, and is responsible for more deaths than Charlie.

- 3 As if you needed any more reasons to kill your fat friends, a new study has found that obesity can be contagious.

Today: +9 This Year: +220