Smokin' Aces my ass

By Adam Thomas

Tuesday February 6, 2007

The only thing saving this movie is the fact that my girlfriend wanted to see it…she likes Jeremy Piven…But since that won’t help you in anyway, understand that this is the result of too many teenage boys blowing smoke up their own asses for too many years convinced that they’ll just write that one “crazy” script, make that one “crazy” movie and spend the rest of their lives living easy…Except these guys are thirteen and are too busy masturbating and playing video games and watching other people’s movies to know about anything remotely interesting like how to script a movie. We’ve seen it all before, many times, and it’s been done better. The ridiculous violence, drug use, snappy editing and whatnot just ends up being the most effort I’ve seen spent to convey nothing in a long time. It’s a big explosive “what the fuck ever.” Chock full of everyone from Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds, Alicia Keys, Common, and even Ray Liotta, the film poses a big retarded “What if” and supposes that an up-and-coming mobster has turned states evidence and a hit is put out on him. So all the best hit-men and women show up to take him out. They eventually all meet in the lobby. I know Jeremy Piven went to the mat here what with all the blow, hos and card tricks, and Reynold’s really “got into his role” as the FBI agent who wants to know the truth, but when is Hollywood gonna figure out that jumping on the movie bandwagon only works if the wagon’s still going somewhere? Style only works if you take time off from pulling your pud to pick up a pencil, because contrary to popular belief…you can’t fix everything in the editing room. At least not this time.