MY Palin problem and OUR Palin problem

By Chuck Ansbacher

Wednesday September 3, 2008

My sentiments on the Palin pick were just perfectly outlined by Robot Heart: It’s not about Palin, it’s about the fact that McCain chose her. His choice says so much about how far he has fallen, and it is both sad and despicable. I think almost all of us can agree that at one time or another, we had a soft spot for McCain. He was funny on The Daily Show, he got shitted on by Bush, he had a compelling life story. But with the horrible direction he has taken his Presidential campaign, and the extremely under-qualified Vice President he hastily chose, I think it’s pretty fair to say that he has literally sold his soul and has no business trying to be President. We don’t need anymore of that nonsense.

I found out that he picked Palin when I was getting off the airplane in O’Hare on Friday. I did some quick research on her with my sister’s iPhone on the ride to the hotel and found out that she was an anti-abortion crusading, global warming denying, drilling for oil loving, animal hunting, gun nutting mother of five, and I thought it was a really smart choice. In fact, I was sure it would spell doom for the Democrats. Some Hillary supporters would love it, the Christians would love it, middle America would love it. Imagine her going up against Joe Biden in a debate. At any opportunity, every Republican in America would scream sexism at the top of their lungs and then they’d pull the ‘taking on the Washington big boys’ bullshit, and the MSM might just go for it because they obviously LOVE drama, and Joe Biden bullying some poor mother of five on national television might look pretty bad to some people.

All of this might be bad, but I really think the WORST part about her is her support for crazy drilling everywhere. Americans want to hear that we’ve got a lot of oil in America, and they want to hear that it will solve all of their problems. I still think that the biggest issue in this election will be gas prices, and I think that a person who looks and sounds nice who Alaskans really like and Americans might really like too telling them that drilling in ANWR and off-shore is the answer to all of their woes, they might really go for it, and then go for her. Seriously, I was super depressed for the first half of my trip to Chicago because I thought choosing Palin was so brilliant.

But then all of this dirt started coming out on her, and then it KEPT coming out on her, and frankly at this point the choice looks like a serious blunder and it strikes me as hilarious. What a DUMB SHIT McCain is!

That having been said, I still think everything I just said is true, and I’m nervous as hell about this speech tonight.