Shitty Council

By only

Thursday December 1, 2005

Quit being such dinks about it

So the results are in and Sullivan’s setting up shop. Big deal. Sully’s personal wheelings, dealings and research are just the kind of noisemaking, confusing and distracting article that doesn’t matter. There are bigger things to worry about. With the ridiculous reality of another federal election this January, it seems like a good time to call to order those who have been elected here in Vancouver. There is a solid split within city council, and little opportunity to predict what the new mayor might do. Only would like to remind those in council of their duty to the city, so here are some really good ideas about how to make Vancouver livable. They make sense to us.

TRANSIT

1. Transit should be more affordable and more efficient than driving a car. Introduce more transit priority lanes. Allow all passengers boarding from Downtown Vancouver to get on for free. Lower 2 zone and 3 zone fares. New routes on 1st Ave, 16th Ave, and 33rd Ave. How to pay for all of this? A congestion charge for vehicles on major routes is a good start.
2. Bike lanes — more bike lanes and bike racks.
3. Burrard Bridge – go ahead with the lane conversion trial.
4. Restore old bus routes, and prices. All night buses!!!

ARTS AND CULTURE

1. Even the mayor of Edmonton recognizes the draw of a strong artistic community. Right now they are trying to create affordable housing downtown, in order to entice the local arts community to come back and live there. Everyone knows it’s the artists who make things good, increasing desirability of an area so it can then be bought up by yuppies. Ergo, no artists = no enticing community in which to gentrify.
2. Increase patio licenses and allow them to stay open later.

Convert the Sears building into a contemporary art gallery, with a rooftop sculpture garden. By donation, of course.

1. Museum in the Bay- Toy museum? Natural disaster museum? Clothing museum? All of the above?
2. Create outdoor NFB film viewing kiosks.
3. The Vogue is closing to become a supper club so the Ford centre should become the middle ground venue.
4. Hunt the public bears and orcas.

SOCIAL

1. Create an independently maintained and run police complaints board.
2. Make more low-income housing available.
3. Pressure federal government to introduce “living wage “ legislation. Remind them of their promise to eliminate child poverty.
4. Introduce community service clusters throughout the city so that a variety of services can be accessed in neighbourhoods other than the DTES. Maintain existing services in that community.
5. Teach children more languages. Chinese, English, French, Japanese, Aramaic. It’ll be good for them. They’ve done studies/

DRUGS AND SEX

1. Legalise all drugs, not just Marijuana, and not for tax revenue. Make sure there is no opportunity for anyone to profit, not even the government, off drug sales.
2. Instead of a red light district we suggest regulated co-operative brothels. They can be registered anywhere in the city, but each member has a share/stake in their living environment.
3. Restore the awnings above liquor stores/whatnot. This is Vancouver; it rains all the time. Quit being such dinks about the canners, they are poor; they can to pay for food. Assholes.

ENVIRONMENT

1. Institute a by-law to require green roofs and green technology. Another by-law to require that all new residential developments provide only one parking space per residence.