The Nons

By only

Thursday December 1, 2005

Dad tells jokes. Dad tells jokes.

The only question I actually wrote going into this was “What’s it like being in a band with your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?” It didn’t go over so well. After a brief silence, Justin informed me that his ex-boyfriend isn’t in the band. It probably would have been smart to get them drunk before I started. If I promised free drinks then maybe Natasha would have shown up.

ONLY: What’s happening?

Justin: I think we’re going to do a Live Girls split. I don’t know if it’s going to be a 7” or a 12” or what.

ONLY: Do you have it recorded already?

J: Yeah, we recorded with Jordan.
S: He works at the Hive. He recorded the new Mecca Normal.
J: Yeah and his recording skills still didn’t help them any.

ONLY: Why do you have half of a moustache and a missing eyebrow, Justin?

J: Uh…
A: ‘Cause he’s stupid.
J: Yeah. I drank too much and a girl shaved my eyebrow off. I grew half a moustache for balance.
S: No. It’s because you have that disorder.
J: Oh yeah. I found out I have Primary Obsession Disorder. It’s where you’re cutting vegetables at home and you think about stabbing your family. And you can’t stop thinking about it… When it happens I think it’s really funny. But I try not to think about it sometimes.

ONLY: Is it like you can’t stop thinking about things because you’re so preoccupied with not thinking about them?

J: No. The last time it happened to me it was at this job interview. It was the easiest job in the world, like super easy. And this woman was talking about it like it was the hardest job in the world. It was in the morning and I was really tired and she had a hot cup of coffee in front of her and her lips were moving but I couldn’t hear anything. All I could think about was throwing the hot coffee in her face.
S: Yeah, he told me this last night and I’m like, “You’re Psycho.”

ONLY: Wow. Did you get the job?

J: I did.

ONLY: Have you guys been to that new non-alcoholic cocktail bar in Granville Island Market that’s called Nons?

A: What?! Oh my God.
S: No.
J: That’s funny because we are definitely non-alcoholic people.

ONLY: Right.

A: That’s insane.

ONLY: Did you ever notice that when you wear a Nons pin upside
down it says Snon?

J: Yup.

ONLY: Who writes your songs?

S: We all sorta do.
J and A: (Laugh)
S: It’s true!
J: That’s funny.

??Non’s play December 10th with Live Girls and Lion Cunt at The Adonai or the Columbia or whatever that place is called. ??