The Guv.

By David Look

Thursday September 25, 2008

I’ve found myself in some fucked up labor force survey, and now every month someone calls me to ask specific questions about rent, expenses, how many hours I worked, what I do. Jesus! Tonight I found myself lying. I had to make up all these false totals for renting a car because I told the woman I was travelling alone in August of 08 when in reality I flew there and was met by someone and driven to a variety of destinations.

Q: And when you arrived in Nelson, BC did you rent a car?

A: Yah, I rented a car.

Q: What was the total of the car rental.

A: It was 300. No, it was 150 dollars.

Q: What was the total for gas.

A: I dunno. 50.00.

(then I just wanted to get off the phone)

Q: Did you spend money on groceries?

A: No.

Q: Attend a performance?

A: No.

Q: Attend or participate in a cultural event?

A: No.

Q: Did you enter a provincial park?

A: No.

Q: Purchase any memberships?

A: No.

Q: What would you say the main activities of your stay in Nelson, BC were?

A: To take Sasquatch photographs and watch Nazi documentaries in my hotel. BY MYSELF!

I’ll report back next month.