Here’s the most confusing thing I plan on reading about today: Iraq is officially tired of...

By only

Wednesday July 9, 2008

Here’s the most confusing thing I plan on reading about today: Iraq is officially tired of America. They don’t want us there anymore. Right on the heels of PM Maliki’s statements that he wants America to set a timetable for withdrawal, Iraq’s national security adviser, Mouwaffak al-Rubaie, just came out and said that his country “will not accept any memorandum of understanding that doesn’t have specific dates to withdraw foreign forces from Iraq.” They also don’t want any permanent military bases in their country. Awesome! Right? They want us to leave, and they want us to set a timetable. So it’s their country, so let’s do it! Right? Isn’t that kind of… victory? Actually, no. That would make total sense, but this is an election year, and nobody is allowed to ‘refine’ their policies – no matter how much sense such refinement would make – without looking like a limp dick. Here’s what McCain had to say about the Iraqi officials’ more than clear statements:

Prime Minister Malki, is, has got his, he is a leader of a country, and I am confident that he will act, as the president and foreign minister have both told me in the last several days, that it will be directly related to the situation on the ground, just as they have always said. And since we are succeeding and then I am convinced, as I have said before, we can withdraw and withdraw with honor, not according to a set timetable. And I’m confident that is what Prime Minister Maliki is talking about since he has told me that for the many meetings we have had.

Shitty, but true – timetables do not equal honor. And we’re definitely in this to validate our own heroic existence… Except! Here’s what John McCain had to say four years ago (when he wasn’t running for president) when asked how he would feel if the Iraqis asked us to leave like they just did:

Well, if that scenario evolves, then I think it’s obvious that we would have to leave because – if it was an elected government of Iraq – and we’ve been asked to leave other places in the world. If it were an extremist government then I think we would have other challenges, but I don’t see how we could stay when our whole emphasis and policy has been based on turning the Iraqi government over to the Iraqi people.

Well, that certainly is one big bucket of syrup… But wow, it really shouldn’t be.