Thursday, April 25, 2019

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Because we have been waiting for you for a decade

The Raveonettes, Bon Iver, Destroy Tokyo, & Sebastien Tellier

The Raveonettes – Lust Lust Lust

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Bizzy Bone and Layzie Bone, Sons and Daughters, Re-up Gang & The Mae Shi

Bizzy Bone and Layzie Bone – Bone Brothers III
You just know an album is going to be good when the intro is a one minute recording of Bone Thugs~N~Harmony winning an award for “Favourite Act, Duo or Group in Rap and Hip Hop”. Actual documented evidence of being the best is always more effective than just telling people you’re the best. Of course, they could have just told us and we’d believe them. Don’t you remember crying when Eazy-E’s face was in the sky in “Tha Crossroads” video? And even though it kind of sucks that the best Bone Brother is absent here (you know we’re talking about Krazy Bone), it’s nice to hear their trademark really fast rapping from start to finish on this album.

Sons and Daughters – This Gift
Meg: A group formed backstage at an Arab Strap concert named after some Bob Dylan lyrics? Sounds kind of suspect if you ask me.

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Hot Chip, Dead Meadow, This Will Destroy You & Xiu Xiu

Hot Chip – Made in the Dark

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Miss Kittin, These New Puritans, Brasstronaut & Vampire Weekend

Miss Kittin – Batbox

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Black Mountain, MGMT, Hello, Blue Roses & Blood on the Wall

Black Mountain – In the Future
Jeph: I like this album. Most of it just sounds like good rock. Can’t complain about that. I don’t like that part in “Bright Lights” where they’re like: “Light bright light bright light bright…” for 16 minutes. That just gives me the heebie-jeebies.

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Jackie-O Motherfucker, HBO's The Wire, Tenniscoats & Wu-Tang Clan

Jackie-O Motherfucker – Valley of Fire
Meg: Listening to this album reminded me of how psyched I was in grade nine when I first got into the Misfits and listened to “Bullet”. I thought Glen Danzig telling Jackie Kennedy Onassis to masturbate him was the punkest thing in the world. Now I just feel like if I were to hang out with Glen Danzig right now, we probably wouldn’t be very good friends.

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Suggestions for a Winter Holiday Mixtape

Some of you might have noticed that for our first Christmas as a married-person-reviewing couple, we have deviated from our standard reviewing format and have chosen to make a holiday mix-tape instead of reviewing four holiday albums. This is because the idea of listening to one entire Christmas album, let alone listening to three more and having to think and write about them, is excruciating.

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Pylon, Wu-Tang Clan, Taxes & There Will Be Blood

Pylon – Gyrate Plus
Meg: Hmmm… This band makes me think of the fictional band, Ivan and the Terribles from the movie, Motel Hell. I guess the main differences would be that this band is more new-wave and doesn’t feature a leather-clad John Ratzenberger as their drummer. Also, Pylon is a lot less fictional than Ivan and the Terribles.

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All Rap Edition: Too $hort, Ghostface Killah, Styles P & Scarface

Too $hort – Get Off The Stage
Jeph: Even though there are a bunch of really great songs on here, I kind of get the impression that Too $hort wasn’t really trying. Usually rap albums are either energetic, smooth or reflective (in my humble opinion). This one is none of those things, which means it’s really just a guy talking about stuff for a while.

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Freeway, Daft Punk, Citay & Health

Freeway – Free At Last
Back when we first started going out, we remember all this hype about Freeway and how he was going to reinvent hip-hop. He put out one album and then we didn’t hear a thing about him for years. Now he’s all bragging about having $30 mil in the bank and we just don’t buy it. I mean, we totally hope you have $30 mil in the bank, Freeway, ‘cos in this game (the game of rapping and album reviewing), you have to be smart with your money because you can lose everything in a second. Why do you think we save every single dollar we earn from writing this column? In any case, this album is genius. For instance, did you know that Freeway actually used to make his own knock-off Le Tigre shirts back before he was a famous Rockafella Billionaire? No, you didn’t know that? Then I\we guess you just didn’t bother to listen to “Reppin’ the Streets.” Too bad for you. The long wait between albums was worth it. Congrats, Freeway!

Daft Punk – Alive 2007
Jeph: When I first heard a significant portion of these guys’ Homework album, I was getting to be too snobby of a raver to buy their CD, which I later regretted, because it was a really great album and being a raver was really stupid. But then I felt vindicated when these guys started putting on those ridiculous robot suits and being retro disco robots. This album is kinda fun though.

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