VANCOUVER

Sunday, July 23, 2017

° » 5 day

Because we have been waiting for you for a decade

Paving Paradise

The Road Leads To Nowhere

Because going for a walk in a cul-de-sac sucks. Because you don’t really need a DVD player in the car. Because suburban crime is on the rise. Because highways kill cities. Because trains could be cool and should be cheap. Because you don’t need cheaper goods, you need to be paid more. Because more cars on the road means more time driving. Because of road rage. Because if you pave it, they will drive it. Because Ms T’s is now a cheap parking lot. Because everyone should have clean air, even if you smoke. Because we’re being lied to about how much it will cost. Because we’re always being lied to. Because they didn’t ask our permission. Because you love your house. Because we want to keep eating salmon. Because the public transportation minister – Kevin Falcon doesn’t even take the bus. Because the chairman of Translink – Doug McCallum doesn’t either. Because after she got busted for spending mad cash on limos we saw Governor General Adrian Clarkson on the B-line. Because books on your lap give you erections. Because the U-pass proved that cheaper fares increases ridership. Because the last bus is a party. Because if the system worked you could get home anytime. Because as a pedestrian if you’re hit by a car that’s traveling 65 km/hr there’s an 85% chance of you dying. Because we dare you to look to the future. Because the people in charge have no vision. Because you don’t need to take the car to get a six-pack in the summer. Because 60 percent of cars are single occupancy. Because it’s sad that cars are the places people go to be alone, try a stupid walk, and pick up a six-pack while you’re at it. Because we need the land to grow food. Because gas is over a buck a litre. Because you just don’t need a fuckin monster truck in the city. Because SUV’s aren’t safe, they’re status. Because car alarms are more annoying than effective. Because we don’t have a car. Because people should come first. Because Bush is a moron. Because Martin will sell us out. Because so will Harper. Because Chretien was a damn good liar and hated Bush. Because the Olympics will ruin this city. Because Cambie street will disappear. Because there are 80 new cars on the road a day. Because they have drive thru bank machines. Because you have to pay more for beer on Sundays. Because there used to be a whole community where they put the Georgia Viaduct. Because they kill the dreamers. Because we like mowing the lawn. Because we challenge Lorne Mayencourt to a wrestling match. For real. Because they want to widen the sea to sky highway. Because we could take a high speed train to Whistler. Because Europeans take the train. Because a lot of people are dicks. Because the B.C. Liberals suck. Because mad cow is real. Because the buses in Cairo don’t stop, they just slow down. Because of drunk drivers. Because cars now don’t even have real bumpers. Because insurance is a scam. Because of deductibles. Because of hit and runs. Because people don’t look at the big picture.

  1. kobra@one-eyed-jacks.net

    because it is sad but true - May 6, 08:01 AM

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