Haley

HALEY RETKA IS AN ACCOUNTANT. SHE IS 20.

ONLY: Did you get anything good today at Value Village?

Haley: No, I was looking for an RF Modulator for my ghetto TV and didn’t find anything.

ONLY: RF modulator, I don’t even know what that is. What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever bought?

H: A series of Jacques Cousteau books about exploring the sea.

ONLY: Is exploring the sea a hobby or career related?

H: Fantasy, I’m an accountant.

ONLY: What’s your favorite part about being an accountant?

H: The fact that everything adds up at the end of the day, and I get to sit on my ass.

ONLY: Would you rather do that or be an ocean explorer?

H: You’d get to wear sweet swimsuits and drive an awesome ocean explorer, but I don’t really like swimming that much.

ONLY: So you’d rather be an accountant?

H: I had to set aside all those sea dreams when I dedicated my life to numbers.

ONLY: Wow, you’re kind of like a superhero.

H: Yup, I know.

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