Credit Check

By only

Wednesday August 29, 2007

- 2 It’s not the ’50s anymore, kids don’t fall for the whole get in my van and help me find my missing puppy bullshit. Get a Myspace account, that works.

- 2 And you aren’t going to kidnap anyone if you pin a note to their door claiming that you follow them home with a hammer and intend on kidnapping them. That’s not how kidnapping works. Maybe start off slow with the “lost puppy” routine and if that doesn’t work get a Facebook account. Myspace is for pedophiles.

+3 Since the scene in Afghanistan is looking more and more like a bad movie, a BC man is supporting our troops by throwing popcorn at them.

+4 A US Republican Senator pleaded guilty to making a gesture that signified his wish to engage in lewd behavior in an airport washroom. He is now claiming that licking his lips and wagging his genitals was misunderstood by the police that arrested him.

+5 Americans are fatter than ever and at increased risks of obesity-related diseases. But it’s okay, because 44% of them believe that Jesus will return in their lifetime and rapture them up to heaven. And since the church recently took ‘Gluttony’ and ‘Slothfulness’ off the list of deadly sins, they no longer have to pray for forgiveness every time they drive a block to get a Big Mac.

+1 A new UN Report has got a number of people calling for the legalization of poppy crops in Afghanistan. But ‘a number of people’ could mean anywhere from 2, to like, 14 or 15 people.

+3 Jeff Skoll, the co-founder of Ebay that financed An Inconvenient Truth, Fast Food Nation, and Syriana speaks about making movies to make change.

+8 Almost half a century after Ontario’s miscarriage of justice, Steven Truscott is acquitted of murder. Now, give him millions of dollars.

- 4 The gravity in BC is harming people daily. Don’t leave the ground.

Today: +16 This Year: +14