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Friday August 10, 2007

- 5 Canadian Premiers won’t press Alberta on reducing their greenhouse gases claiming that no one wants to kill the goose that lays the golden egg. Yeah, but if that goose doesn’t have a c-section soon it’s gonna die in labour, and all we’ll be left with is some preemie. Preemies may be fun to eat, but they’re only good for one or two picnics.

+8 Instead of threatening with military action, or planting even bigger miniature flags, Harper does a pretty rational thing and expands the Nahanni National Park by 29,000 sqkm, more than sextupling it’s size. Sextuple that, Russia.

- 2 ICBC has a monopoly. More competition would lower rates. No shit.

- 1 In Whistler, it literally costs $650 to live in a crawl space.

- 5 A new Vancouver initiative aims to make parking safer by ripping off some “plan” that reduced vehicle crimes in the UK by a whopping eight percent. And while eight percent of 16,000 (the number of vehicles broken into in Vancouver annually) may sound like a lot, it’s nothing compared to the what would happen if this city grew some balls and tackled the fucking drug problem.

- 4 A Manitoba judge is urging the government to prevent possible inmate suicides by ensuring crazy patients are in rooms where they can’t get at the ceilings. Um, shouldn’t suicide be encouraged in prison? It cost a damn fortune to keep these goofs locked up. Please, let them kill themselves, and pass the savings on to the kids.

- 2 The U.S. Democratic Party is way more liberal than it has been in a generation, but way less likely to fucking do anything.

+9 Mariah Carey has a new perfume on the market, with the actual slogan An ethereal presence. Captivating like a song. You gotta hand it to Mariah. If there’s one thing trannys love, it’s that decadent, superfluous vocab.

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