VANCOUVER

Sunday, October 22, 2017

° » 5 day

Because we have been waiting for you for a decade

Naked butt not alone

Networking in the nude

Having spent almost a decade of my life living on the West Coast, I’ve come to appreciate its many eccentricities. Namely, I’ve learned to love its inhabitants’ predilection for nudity. Hippies like to be naked, I get that. Aside from being the only place in Canada one would even want to get and stay nude, BC has such a tolerant air. I get the sense that whatever weird, ugly, naked, crunchy thing you want to do, people will totally be cool about it, man. Unless of course you just want to be left alone.

According to a recent story in the Province, a Vancouver Island nudist was booted from his exclusive nudie club for not socialising. Though ultimately, after legal action, the club agreed to re-admit him, the ousting so tarnished his image, he did not return. The club, referred to as ‘family-oriented,’ felt this particular member was less participation and more naked hibernation. Now as much as I want to put my two cents in on how perverted I think family-oriented nudity is, the story of a man who just wants people to get off his bare back is far too important.

The fact is we pack ourselves into cities like still-squealing sausages, bulging in every direction the way leggings do on anyone who’s had bread in the last two years. Concentrated is an understatement for the way we live; two and three and four to an apartment, rooms the size of walk-in closets, tiny cubicles, over-stuffed bars, heaving line ups. Everywhere you go there’s flesh. The barrage of humanity at every turn is enough to put anyone off. That’s why we retreat. We don’t go on holiday to hang out with more people, to force small talk at the hotel pool; we do it because it’s a socially sanctioned break from the community. It’s ten days off from pretending you care about other people. But even that is harder and harder to get.

Of course it’s important to spend time with people you care about. Building social skills is paramount in the development of a normal human being, and one can roll out a litany of sociopaths who have proven just that. But people, like everything else, should be taken in moderation.

There was a time we respected personal boundaries. It was rude to interrupt someone who was clearly seeking time alone. Now it’s unseemly if you aren’t the slickest, most networked chatty Cathy in the room, forcing your inanity on anyone who has the misfortune of being seen by you. There’s a monstrous pressure to always be talking, always be engaged, answer every phone call, respond to every email. We’re even expected to befriend our neighbours. I want to know if my neighbours are homicidal rapists, yes, but I don’t want to know about their kids’ soccer practice, what kind of laminate they used in their kitchen or who they think was really behind 9/11. A wordless acknowledgement as I’m rushing in the door will do just fine.

The least we can ask is that after 50-odd years of feigning interest in our friend’s new baby or our co-workers dumb perm, we may be allowed to retire nakedly and in peace. Can’t a guy be a nudist and alone? Is that any weirder than wanting to be naked with your kids and your neighbour’s kids and then playing a couple of rounds of badminton while you’re naked with all these kids?

And if you don’t want to be naked, but you do want to turn your phone off every once in a while, does that make you a crazy? No. It just makes you a reasonable adult person who knows where their boundaries are. Just like the weird naked guy who may have wanted to be naked all time, but didn’t necessarily want to do it with a whole bunch of other naked people around.

  1. Gölök

    Nice work to put it in a LPC Voter term, Don’t force or defraud me into your life or your life onto me, I have a right to mine and you have right to get a room too and have it.

    Nude Gardenites are no doubt thinking, “Amil Nazi” but I say nice work.

    Gölök Zoltán Leenderdt Franco Buday
    “Majority rule is a precious, sacred thing worth dying for. But — like other precious, sacred things, such as the home and the family — it’s not only worth dying for; it can make you wish you were dead. Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stonewashed denim. Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library. And — since women are a majority of the population — we’d all be married to Mel Gibson.” — P. J. O’Rourke

    - Jan 31, 02:06 PM

  2. Tom Mulhall

    Hi,
    My name is Tom Mulhall. My wife and I own a nudist resort in Palm Springs, CA. I know a lot of the people at that nudist resort on Vancouver Island.

    Nudism is commonly called social nudism. If you don’t want to talk to other people and be antisocial then DON’T JOIN. It is as simple as that. Go to Wreck Beach by the university in Vancouver if you want to be left alone.

    The key is this is a CLUB. Just like any other clubs, they have social gatherings and people are expected to help out at the club.

    For us, we have a resort, so people vacation at our nudist resort in Palm Springs.

    This guy can be nude and alone, he can have his own cabin in the woods and NOT join a club.

    This is a case of his having the wrong expectations and expecting everyone else at the club to conform to him instead of his trying to fit into the club.

    - Feb 12, 03:12 AM

  3. Steve MacLeod

    The very reason I enjoy naturism or nudism is the people contact. If you do not want to be in contact with others in this natural situation then why join a nudist club. There is always room for privacy but being alone all the time does not make sense. A cabin in the woods makes a lot of sense in this scenario.

    - Feb 12, 10:04 PM

  4. Jason

    Why is social nudity important/necessary at a nudist camp, club, resort ? What’s the difference if the visitor is a member or non-member ?

    - Feb 16, 02:05 PM

  5. Ron

    While I like the article and the point it makes what does the photo have to do with it? No way is that photo of a nudist club!

    - Feb 16, 02:15 PM

  6. Merv Krull

    Joining a nudist social group or club and then isolating oneself from the group is a bit like going to a Baptist church and demanding a Catholic Mass. Why join if one is not wanting to hang out with other like minded people? There is more to this story than presented. I believe it has more to do with the man in question wanting to help out a couple of club members with the rent than wanting to be a club member. The matter was poorly handled by the club executive.
    Jason asks why is it important to be nude: nudists and naturists believe that being nude is natural. Go to www.fcn.ca or www.aanr.com or www.tns.org for the full spiel on the philosophy. Visitors are welcome at most nudist clubs. Contact them directly for their visitation rules.

    - Feb 16, 03:49 PM

  7. Zerokini

    “Majority rule is a precious thing,” someone said. The problem is, majority rule is two wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for lunch. Individual rights trump majority rule every time in a free society. If a guy (or gal) wants to get naked and be left alone, let him (or her). As long as he pays the rent, why should anyone care?

    - Feb 19, 08:45 PM

  8. Jason

    I go to a nudist club/group in Brisbane Australia being social is optional not required www.bfsc.org.au/Home.htm

    - Feb 20, 04:33 AM

  9. Gölök

    The thing is, when does “Club” become cult, I agree these things are best kept private, but not impossed on people either as a secret society thing like a Nude Garden Party Dome.
    I only see the desirable nudity at Strip Clubs frankly.

    GZLFB
    “It’s cute how you think I am listening.” — Jim Benton’s It’s Happy Bunny

    - Feb 20, 02:17 PM

  10. Susan

    It wasn’t only that he wouldn’t participate in social events.

    He was creeping people out.

    Nudist resorts need a wide latitude on who they keep out. That is the only way to ensure that nudism remains safe and family friendly.

    - Feb 28, 12:15 AM

  11. GZLFB

    If it’s Mr. Britton your talking about, you may have a point, although don’t be fooled into thinking he isn’t personable and even a bit charming, if you’ve sat with him and talked he has a civil streak despite his cloistered colonial (paid by state) pleasure dome cult. Might be using it to recruit from the Cecil not realizing the difference between dancing and nudism.
    Patrick Britton may have a hostility stemming from some overtly exteme religiosity in childhood and regards clothing to be as evil as Calvin saw art.
    I like my nudity with an act and an occasional 5 on stage with a 2 drink min. and no cover.

    Cheers,

    Gölök Zoltán Leenderdt Franco Buday
    “Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.” – Prime Minister Diefenbaker, March 11, 1958

    - Mar 2, 01:10 PM

  12. Malcolm

    Hello from Malcolm ( ID ‘ flowsun in Yahoo! Groups and ‘ daxel48 ‘ in MSN Groups ) a 60 year old serious male naturist/nudist. Nudist club member 15 years. First message. Thanks: Flowsun.

    - Mar 30, 01:07 PM

  13. Robare

    Frankly, it’s people like Tom, and other mindless twits who fail to realize they become guilty of the transgression of which they complain, that would keep me from wanting to interact. Unfortunately, Tom carries the transgression further, going from “conform to me”, to “conform to me or go home”. I’ve no reason to believe the individual booted from the club made such a demand. I can easily believe that individual would very much have preferred “respect me”, something for which no one should have to demand. Perhaps Tom feels that members of “his” club are merely extensions of himself and, therefore, subject to his whims.
    Clubs are also facilities, often with some semblance of security or barrier from outside interference. Nudism is about granting others freedom so that you can, yourself, be free. It seems some nudist club/resort “management” types have forgotten a core value in a rush to feed their ego.

    - Apr 10, 05:22 PM

  14. scott

    It seems to me the problem is with the fact that people are creeped out by people in their midst who do not participate in the group dynamic. Why was this guy at the club? When I used to hang out at wreck beach there were always people around more there for looking than being. this was my own progression. when I was 13 going down to wreck was about looking at naked people. when I became more comfortable, I would take my clothes off, but I was still looking. Was I more of a perv, more unsettling to the good feelings of others when I was 13 and clothed or 16 and naked? I am a gay man, so when I was 13 and looking at women as well as men at the beach, did they just accept me as exploring and non-threatening because I was young? or because we accepted people who were clothed as part of the experience. My desire when looking was always the same or similar: I wanted to see naked people, I wasn’t allowed to see naked people at all growing up (still not unless its a stripper bar or an nc-17 or in love or etc. or etc.) My desire was always transgressive, I always wanted something not allowed to me. Now I like to see naked people, but it’s not the same imperative, I can go to the naked beach and not stare at the penises, but this is a new thing, I’ve finally seen enough penises that I know I’ll see some again, if I miss this one, I’ll see the next one. So what’s more transgressive, more imposing, more worthy of expulsion: now when I’m 40 and naked and casting an expert eye or 13 and clothed and drinking in every bit of flesh that I could see. I know people’s reactions, they react to me more strongly now than then, but why? I am no doubt less discrete in my staring, but less hungry as well. I am also now a man, more power, more capable of crimes than a 13 yr old. I feel my intentions now are less transgressive: if you don’t want to show me I don’t need to see you now,but at 13, I would hang off cliffs to see your penis, I’d follow you around the beach to see it, but now…. I can’t put out the effort. So this guy who belongs to the nudist club but doesn’t interact – is he ascribed voyeur intentions (just getting naked to stare at the breasts/penises/kids/bums, whatever they don’t like) with a predilection for becoming a serial killer. Does he inspire a need to stop the sociopath before he strikes? I sort of understand, but what did he do? If asked to not hang out by the pool/fire/communal area without saying hello does he refuse? If he just wants to be alone….? Is he pervily staring at the little boys/girls? Were his transgressions purely wanting to be alone and naked or did he actively do things that bothered other people? Maybe this group was his only outlet for being naked, but he didn’t like their politics. People who like to be alone are creepy to us, but that doesn’t make them dangerous or criminal. Talk before litigation.

    - Apr 29, 10:03 AM

  15. DARIO WESTERN

    I am a former member of the nudist club that Jason goes to. At this club there is a young guy who always sits on the side of the pool and stares into space with a glum look on his face as if he doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t cause trouble, but it is very off-putting to novice nudists to have some loner constantly staring and gawking at you. He doesn’t ever make an effort to befriend other members or participate in the activities and it makes me wonder why he wastes his time and money going there if not to socialise.
    Unfortunately, there are a number of people with mental health problems who get into nudism and these are the very people who should NOT be practicing it if we want it to become more accepted by the mainstream people.

    - May 4, 09:26 AM

  16. M

    Did everyone miss it? Family-oriented nudity is ‘perverted’? I beg your pardon,but how many children raised in a nudist or body-friendly environment grow up to become rapists or serial killers? Google it,you won’t find much. Compare that with the number of people raised in repressive,overly religious and ‘upstanding’ families that do. Our (nudist’s) kids are usually WAY more well-balanced,sociable and honest than their textile counterparts. Perverts are NOT nudists. Pervs are people who keep their clothes on and STARE at them!

    - Jan 24, 08:11 AM

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