VIDEODRONE

By only

Tuesday June 12, 2007

NEW MOVIE MONDAYS TUESDAYS
What can we say? Music Waste is a battlefield.


Ghost Rider
You’d imagine that after Daredevil and Elektra were such duds, Marvel Comics and the poor idiots who continue to put out movies based on their comics would have hired a different guy to bring Ghost Rider to the big screen. But as we continue to learn every week–and as this movie skillfully proves–everyone in Hollywood is completely retarded. There is no other way to explain the horrible quality of this film or the fact that it, and others like it, continue to be produced. You can just imagine those fat pieces-of-shit sitting around, doing lunch, mouths half-full of steak and gravy, stuttering out nonsense like “Holy shit Nick Cage is attached?! Who gives a fuck what the script looks like? Hell, toss it at that impotent porn addict Mark Johnson. If anyone can milk a hit out of Cage it’s him!” And they were right! This is the movie Nick Cage should have made years ago: The worst fucking movie of all time. Maybe if Ghost Rider had come out back in ’85 (when it feels like it was made) instead of now, we would have never had to suffer through over a decade of trash from that worst-actor-of-all-time piece-of-shit bastard. Kill yourself Hollywood!


Days of Glory
There are millions of war stories about regular people doing brave things, and the fields of Europe are filled with the bodies of people who fought and died defeating those fucking Nazis. But what if you were just a little different from the rest of the guys? Like maybe you had darker skin, a mustache, celebrated Ramadan and had a name like Yassir? This Oscar-nominated film recounts the true stories of a group of French Algerian soldiers (Muslims) who fought with their French “brothers” (Christians) but still faced the bitter sting of prejudice and racism from those who saw them as second class citizens. Kind of like what black, poor, or non-college going kids must have felt like during Vietnam, except more racist. Days of Glory chronicles the earnest struggle, not just against the enemy, but also against those who failed to recognise the unequivocal valor of those who gave their lives in a fight for acceptance. All blood is red, bitches.


Glaststonbury
Culled from over 700 hours of footage, director Julien Temple (Great Rock and Roll Swindle and Filth and the Fury) has created a loving and slightly bitter tribute to the largest and longest running open air music festival in the world. Since it started in 1970, this festival–located in the pleasant Glastonbury countryside–has gone from freakish hippie love fest to freaky homeless anarchist riot scene to safe and tidy commercialized cultural exposition with Smirnoff tents and miles of impenetrable metal fencing. There have been too many acts to even begin to list here, and to an extent the music is not even the focus. Instead Temple has crafted a film about the changes in subculture, and how this little microcosm reflects the greater trends of western popular culture as a whole. Smarty pants.


Deadwood Season 3
The story goes that David Milch (creator of Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue) came up with the idea to do a show about ancient Rome, but it was already being produced by John Milius, the guy who co-wrote Apocalypse Now and directed Conan the Barbarian. So Milch reworked it and came up with Deadwood. Both series work along parallel lines and feature societies run by greed and power in a time when corruption and force trump all. But instead of the overblown, over-hyped money sucking (and canceled) debacle that is Rome, we got a piss filled, gritty western that got canceled after this season before the cast and crew could burn the town to the ground. Apparently Milch is looking to wrap it all up with two feature films. Fingers crossed! We love Deadwood.