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Friday, April 28, 2017

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Because we have been waiting for you for a decade

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Don't Worry Everyone. We Got Lansdale, PA COVERED.

Hey did you all hear about how this weekend in Pennsylvania, Obama volunteers knocked on 1,811,801 doors? Well, it’s true! And me and my dad can personally take credit for about 300 of them! Not to say that it will make ANY difference. I didn’t run into a single undecided voter. My dad ran into two. On the first one he kinda froze up and explained that he just really liked Obama, which — surprise — didn’t sway buddy. I don’t really know how the second one went. Either way, the vote is getting the fuck out here in Landsdale, PA, which is where we are.

I have no idea where Landsdale is. I haven’t bothered to look it up on a map, and I slept the entire way here. From what I can tell, it’s maybe a suburb of Philly, and is supremely middle class. I canvased in a trailer park and I canvased a row of McMansions, but for the most part it’s as middle of the class as one can get. About half of the houses have doorbells, and seven out of ten have dogs. The Obama/McCain yard sign ratio seems pretty even, but the Dick Fingers ground game goes unseen. I saw a few door hanging thingees yesterday, but that’s it.

Lansdale is home to one of the 81 offices Obama has set up across PA. That’s roughly one office per every 150,000 people, which is nuts. Watching these offices work is mind numbing. About every five minutes, 20-40 new volunteers are being trained and shipped out to canvas. Seriously, the stream is constant. Whenever I’ve been at the office, close to every table is full of people making phone calls. Even this morning at 9:30 people were making calls. LOVE IT.

But I will admit that I feel like a bit of an intruder in this town. In a perfect world, I would be going around my own neighborhood in NY, talking to my own neighbors, and making sure they’re all voting for Obama. Instead I have to drive over a few state lines to a place I have no personal interest in to talk to people I don’t know at all, and hope that somehow it makes a teeny tiny bit of difference… and that I never have to come back. I have had some great encounters with supporters and have seen a lot of smiling faces behind a lot of screen doors, but in the back of my mind I always think they know I’m just some dipshit elitist from NY.

Highlights

  • Surprisingly great sushi here in Lansdale. A bit on the expensive side, but honestly, I’m in the suburbs of Pennsylvania and eating an amazing spicy tuna roll? Impressed, to say the least.
  • I’ve probably consumed the equivalent of every dollar I donated to the campaign in free food.
  • No bedbugs at the Best Western.

Lowlights

  • Having to listen to our breakfast waitress at the Best Western go on for twenty odd minutes to the guy sitting behind us about how Obama scares the crap out of her and Sarah Palin is super honest. According to her, if JFK were alive today he’d be a Republican. Yup, I sure hope she votes!
  • Having to see my dad naked. I guess this is bound to happen when you’re sharing a hotel room with your dad. But really? Is it? We’re not even sharing a bed! I know it’s not a huge deal, but I’d gone at least a decade without seeing my dad’s steez and I was totally fine that way. But whatever. Yay Obama.
  • The town of Lansdale inexplicably sounds an air raid siren every so often for no apparent reason. Sometimes during the sleeping hours. What up with that?

Anyone else feel like they’ve been on the verge of tears for the past day or so? Also, to be completely honest I’ve gained a lot of respect for Dick Fingers over the past few days, simply because he’s two years older than my dad is, and if my dad hasn’t had his half hour nap by 1pm he starts getting loopy. John has been on the trail for a serious amount of time, and he still seems pretty fired up. That having been said, fuck that pussy.

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