Friday, March 23, 2018

° » 5 day

Because we have been waiting for you for a decade


The Guv.

I’ve found myself in some fucked up labor force survey, and now every month someone calls me to ask specific questions about rent, expenses, how many hours I worked, what I do. Jesus! Tonight I found myself lying. I had to make up all these false totals for renting a car because I told the woman I was travelling alone in August of 08 when in reality I flew there and was met by someone and driven to a variety of destinations.

Q: And when you arrived in Nelson, BC did you rent a car?

A: Yah, I rented a car.

Q: What was the total of the car rental.

A: It was 300. No, it was 150 dollars.

Q: What was the total for gas.

A: I dunno. 50.00.

(then I just wanted to get off the phone)

Q: Did you spend money on groceries?

A: No.

Q: Attend a performance?

A: No.

Q: Attend or participate in a cultural event?

A: No.

Q: Did you enter a provincial park?

A: No.

Q: Purchase any memberships?

A: No.

What would you say the main activities of your stay in Nelson, BC were?

A: To take Sasquatch photographs and watch Nazi documentaries in my hotel. BY MYSELF!

I’ll report back next month.

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