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I don’t know if everyone knew this, but John McCain was scheduled to make a big photo-op today...

By only

Thursday July 24, 2008

I don’t know if everyone knew this, but John McCain was scheduled to make a big photo-op today by helicoptering to an oil rig off the coast of Louisiana in attempt to counter program what was sure to be (and turns out, sure was) a massive spectacle of a scene in Berlin, where Obama was giving a speech. Smart, because what could be more majestic than standing on an oil rig? And also, what could perfectly illustrate the fact that McCain, unlike Obama, is for lower gas prices better than standing on a thing that gets oil out of the earth? Nothing! Rumor had it that he was even going to chug an entire barrel of oil. But alas, it was called off, all because of a bit of bad weather. And then McCain, like a pussy, went and ate some schnitzel instead. Seriously.

Although the weather eventually cleared up, turns out luck had actually been on McCain’s side. Irony struck, and there was a big collision in the Mississippi river right near New Orleans, and both of the things that collided were carrying oil, and one of them broke in half, and it spilled thousands of gallons of oil all up and down that shit. 29 miles of the river has now been closed, likely for days.

I guess it’s not that ironic. I mean, the oil that spilled didn’t come from the exact same rig he was planning to visit or anything. But still, McCain. What a pussy.