VANCOUVER

Thursday, April 27, 2017

° ยป 5 day

Because we have been waiting for you for a decade

Credit Check: CHA CHA Music Plays

+69 U.S. Journalists return with Bill after a night of hot wax love making aboard a decommissioned version of Air Force One. Yesterday we reported the deal was 3 nights, but our knight in the shimmering gray hair was just too worn out from pleasuring those lovelies to follow through with the other scheduled evenings of passion. Only now are they officially free, and completely traumatized.

+1 Google set to take on Apple, but only in China. Why only China and not the U.S. you ask? This is why! You can’t mess with Apple Guy.

0 Andrew ‘Dice’ Clay resumes career as Japanese RedSox Player. Obviously his best act yet. (that was bad, we won’t score that one) Ok, here, don’t get all sore pal.

-10 Structure of HIV genome ‘decoded’ We were all pretty excited about this until it was revealed that it looked like this.

-69 Obama presses N Korea on weapons. God, shut-up already. Face it Obama, Bill is getting all the attention, and the pussy. You lost, GET OVER IT.

Today: +69 This Year: Yes, it has that too.

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