VANCOUVER

Saturday, August 19, 2017

° ยป 5 day

Because we have been waiting for you for a decade

Credit Check: Read this on your Blackberry, Obama

-10 Prime Minister Stephen Harper wants to change citizenship laws to prevent them foreigners from birthing more Canucks.

-10 Vancouver now has the legal power to borrow ‘unlimited funds’ to complete the Olympic Village. Note that there is no requirement to be be fiscally prudent or balance a budget or show that there are profits to be had. Yet, funds are not available for homelessness or drug rehabilitation.

-5 A senior mountie has been convicted of forging a document. In this case, the Mounties faked an official note to his boss that said he did not need to testify at a drunk-driving trial that he already blew off. Credit Check suggests that the sentencing judge take a second look at any ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ cards that may be presented next month.

-5 In their constant effort to make transit riding just that more unbearable, Translink plans to play music station platforms. The suicides will begin if the people who choose the buskers also select the music.

-5 The Pattullo Bridge will be closed for weeks due to a fire but the Province has ensured that its readers know that homeless people live near where the fire started.

-5 The next time that CanWest and the Vancouver Sun wonder why they are losing money and nobody is reading their paper, they could do worse than consider that printing forwarded emails is not worth paying for. And saying that ‘It has been making the rounds on businespeople’s Blackberries’ does not give the Sun a Web 2.0 buzzy sheen.

Today: -40 This Year: +5

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